I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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