I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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