If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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