I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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