I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize