Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
