its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
