a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
