I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
