He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I am available for nakedness
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
