bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
