I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
