help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
