Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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