If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
