Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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