We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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