You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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