everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
