My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
