Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
