I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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