I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
