this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
