take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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