Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
