Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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