My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the day after is always just damage control
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
