Your face is a jimmy john
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it glows. i had to have it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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