So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
