R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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