You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize