But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my being single is dangerous.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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