He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
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I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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