Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
