dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There r osticjed everywhere
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
