I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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