i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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