I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Welp...herpes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
