I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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