therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
