I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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