This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
