So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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