im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
