Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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