So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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