6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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