i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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