U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize