remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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