It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
