the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
