i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
