My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
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he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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