Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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