turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
