when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
