so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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