Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
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I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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